Sorry to hear that you viewed it as a "litany of crap", but if it's of any solace, if you had slopped it, the result would not have been immediately different -- but you would be marked in our system in such a way that subsequent applications would also be disqualified.
It sounds like we're not a fit for you either, though, so maybe just as well!
I'm not sure what else you're looking for; we are already explicit about the fact that we (like YC!) don't give detailed feedback. If you would like to DM me, I will look at the reviews of your materials and tell you what I can tell you -- but I think it's pretty clear that you and Oxide aren't really a fit for one another?
It sounds like we're not a fit for you either, though, so maybe just as well!