I recently started a 400k job. Let me tell you, my offer did not start there and I did not have a competing offer. Things that helped me: 1. Remembering as much as not getting this job is bad for me, not getting me is bad for them. 2. Work with the recruiter. I at all times reiterated that I completely trust him and that I know he’s trying to get the best offer for me. 3. Reminding them constantly that you are viewing this opportunity as a long term investment. You want to join and do good work for a couple of years and not have to think about money for a while. You’re not job hopping. They may save some money upfront, but in the long run it won’t matter if they paid me more. 4. Absolutely have your asks clear. Be prepared to say what matters to you and what doesn’t. Don’t try to get everything. People respect your ask if they realize you’re not fishing to see if you can get more, you already know you can and how much you can.