I've been through enough psychiatric care to know that the main prioritization is the welfare invested into me, not actually who "I" am. They don't care, and I get that. I've tried caring for those who are ill, it takes a heavy toll.
Always choosing to be positive is a main reason I am in the state I'm in. I was always smart enough to rationalize away any negative emotions and actions, which is why I'm not an addict, why I have a steady job and why everyone who meets me gets greeted with the biggest smile and great humor. But logic can't treat melancholia. It's highly illogical. And filtering negative emotions does not automatically leave positives, which I found out about when it was already far too late. Neutralization had become a habit. I wish I crashed in my teens and got help when it would be helpful.
But there's nothing i hate more than my own death, so I try to make the best out of it. I might not win all, but I'll avoid losing the game of life as long as I can.
It's impossible not to have negative emotions sometimes, unhealthy even if you don't get the lows. I try not to let it ruin the highs for me, the good moments only happen so often.
I'm sorry you didn't feel as if psychiatric care is not invested in who "you" are. It takes not only an observant person, but also somebody who is compatible in a psychological and conversational way.
In a round about way, I've found the best cure for the desire to be understood, is to actually take time and understand others.
It is rare if not impossible to find somebody who 'fully understands me', but sometimes you can find that you and somebody else understands another in small but meaningful ways.
I've been through enough psychiatric care to know that the main prioritization is the welfare invested into me, not actually who "I" am. They don't care, and I get that. I've tried caring for those who are ill, it takes a heavy toll.
Always choosing to be positive is a main reason I am in the state I'm in. I was always smart enough to rationalize away any negative emotions and actions, which is why I'm not an addict, why I have a steady job and why everyone who meets me gets greeted with the biggest smile and great humor. But logic can't treat melancholia. It's highly illogical. And filtering negative emotions does not automatically leave positives, which I found out about when it was already far too late. Neutralization had become a habit. I wish I crashed in my teens and got help when it would be helpful.
But there's nothing i hate more than my own death, so I try to make the best out of it. I might not win all, but I'll avoid losing the game of life as long as I can.