You seem to misunderstand the entire notion of limited federal government as defined in the constitution.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
Don't you think that ship has sailed? That's simply not true anymore, and it might be time to recognize that. Just look at the way federal funds set speed limits nationwide. Turns out if you set the right incentive structure, it just doesn't matter as rights are set aside in exchange for compensation.
I think ultimately the federal government gets what it wants because it holds the biggest purse-strings and that's all that matters at the end of the day.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.